I was standing in the century old church with my Russian History class, listening to the prayers for the soul of the Departed servant of the lord, Fyodor. At the time, the melody was unfamiliar and dissonant, but it was beautiful and touched my soul. I remember the taste of the kolyva, the beauty of the icons that surrounded me, the discussions in the church amongst my classmates – the appropriate and the inappropriate.

Afterwards during the question and the answer period – someone asked about the Raising of Lazarus in Orthodox theology, as we’d just read Crime and Punishment. The priest (who is now my beloved priest and Spiritual Father) laughed and said, “Well, I promised your professor we wouldn’t get too religious, but…” and he began to explain the significance of the story – how it foreshadows Christ’s resurrection and the universal resurrection. And he talked about the realness of the story and the commemoration – how the icon shows people holding their noses from the smell; how Jesus wept. I remember how this answer resonated with me.

A few weeks later, I stood in that same century old church on what I thought was being referred to as Myrrhbury Sunday (was that somewhere in England, I wondered?) Later, I would find out it was Myrrhbearer’s Sunday. We will be at that same Sunday in just a few days – two weeks after Pascha (which I’d also attended with the parish that year, my first), and remembering the women who went to the tomb and proclaimed the resurrection. People who are familiar friends now, who have laughed and cried with me, who have gone through the pain of Holy Friday with me, and have joyfully shouted “Christ is Risen!” with me, I was meeting for the first time.

How far I have come in these past 12 years. Looking back at those days, and the paper I wrote about the figure of Sonya in Crime and Punishment, I see the beginning of my journey to Orthodoxy. I see that I thought I knew it all, but now I know how little I knew, and how much God was going to shake me down to my core and reshape me, like gold in the fire. And, how much more there is to shape.

Oh, and did you mishear anything in your first few Liturgies, or is it only me? And, how'd I do, Hilarius?

A Thinking Blogger? Last week, I was touched when Deb (at homeschoolblogger.com/debdillon) tagged me as a Thinking Blogger, coming from such an awesome mother and teacher – I just want to sit at her feet and absorb her wisdom, it was a lovely affirmation. We won’t go into the fact came at just the same time as I was figuring out that there was a Tax Return Snafu that I was directly responsible for.
The rules are as follows: 1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think. 2. Link to this post (www.thethinkingblog.com/2007/02/thinking-blogger-awards_11) so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme. 3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

It’s hard to tag just five blogs that make me think. I am blessed to read an amazing number of blogs with witty, provocative, intelligent and caring writers. In fact, I’d be hard pressed to come up with five blogs that *don’t* make me think.

However, my nominees are:

Hilarius at Forty Days in the Desert (forty-days-in-the-sesert.blogspot.com). His posts throughout Lent were indeed salve for a thirsting soul. He also emailed me the nicest compliment, and I strive every day to live up to his words. And, I’m composing that post that I asked you to prod me about in my head – look for it by the end of the week.

The Kitchen Madonna (kitchenmadonna.blogspot.com)has wonderful recipes, and kicky stories about being a Catholic cook in the South. I also have a post that I’m composing about her business venture.

Through the wonderful Papa Herman (papaherman.wordpress.com)
I had the pleasure of meeting Belladonna (mind-muffins.blogspot.com) (not of the Took fame). While she and I approach faith from very different angles, her words bring up different facets of life that I am continually blessed by.

Alana (www.morningcoffee.blogspot.com) has been a wonderful support to me for a long time – she has a Theological brain that I can only begin to contemplate having. She can sew and sing, and I am blessed that she has given me something from both of her crafts. And, she made dragon eggs for Pascha!

And, lastly, the fabulous Red Molly (redmolly.typepad.com). She is witty and loving, getting to move to a Blue State soon, and her husband graduated from the same High School I did. She has excellent taste in books, music and coffee!

(this post disappearing thing is getting old, I apologize for the awful formating of this post)