Monday, March 30, 2009

Yesterday's word of the day seemed appropriate to me:

osculation \os-kyuh-LAY-shuhn\, noun:
The act of kissing; also: a kiss.


as today is my anniversary. Happy Anniversary, my love! Thank you for loving me, I look forward to many more years.

------------------------

I was blessed to be asked to write an essay on Father Thomas Hopko's Forty Maxims for the fantastic Forty Maxims Blog. Today is my humble contribution:

ETA: maybe I should include the Maxim, eh?
29. Don’t defend or justify yourself.

When I read this maxim, my first thought was a quote from the Sayings of the Desert Fathers “The same Abba Macarius while he was in Egypt discovered a man who owned a beast of burden engaged in plundering Macarius' goods. So he came up to the thief as if he was a stranger and he helped him to load the animal. He saw him off in great peace of soul saying, 'We have brought nothing into this world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.' (1Tim.6.7) 'The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.' (Job 1.21).

While I consider that we shouldn’t be attached to our possessions, and to let them own us, I realized upon later reflection this maxim is warning us against justifying ourselves. We always want to tell the story, as if somehow we miss the mark less if we have a good reason. When the pit of my stomach reminds me that I have done something wrong, it is easy for me to fall into this trap. Justification leads to rationalization.

I am pretty sure that my defense at the Dread Judgment Seat of Christ does NOT start with “so-and-so did it first” or the even more judgmental “well, they did THIS”. When I pick up my sin and examine it, the measuring stick isn’t what others have done, but what I have done. I recently read that St. Isaac the Syrian said, “A man who is truly humble is not troubled when he is wronged at he says nothing to justify himself against the injustice but accepts slander as truth.” This maxim reminds us that our actions aren’t for how other people see us, but how we are seen by God. When we learn to stop justifying ourselves we learn to accept responsibility.

I have far to go on applying this maxim to my life.

31 Comments:

At 12:58 PM , Blogger Sarah - Kala said...

You and a lot of other folks, I presume. Well done and insightful. On that note:

Peace and Joy and many more years to you and your beloved; Happy Anniversary!!

 
At 12:59 PM , Blogger Sarah - Kala said...

Oh, and ME, too, most of all! Do I sound close enough to be St. Paul yet? I'm the worst of them all!!!!

 
At 1:27 PM , Blogger Martha said...

Hope you and your sweetheart have a wonderful anniversary! XO

 
At 1:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful entry; I definitely needed that and a harder slap in the face/pound on the head.

Happy Anniversary; Many Years!!

 
At 1:52 PM , Blogger Helena said...

Happy anniversary! I wish you many more years of marital bliss and osculation. :)

 
At 2:03 PM , Blogger mielikki said...

I think we ALL have far to go in our lives with this. It is definately given me something to consider this afternoon as I clean.
Happy Anniversary, many many more times infinity :)

 
At 3:04 PM , Blogger RW said...

Happy Anniversary to you both.

Good words.

 
At 3:21 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

yes, as do I.

Happy Anniversary, btw.
and God grant you and your love many more!

 
At 5:46 PM , Anonymous Shelley in Idaho said...

Happy Anniversary!

Maybe the yardstick actually is what Jesus does.

 
At 5:52 PM , Blogger Meadowlark Days said...

Happy Anniversary!

And, oh my, I think the older I get, the more self-justifying I do! yikes.

 
At 5:54 PM , Blogger elizabeth said...

happy anniversary!

i have a lot to learn too. thanks for this.

 
At 6:12 PM , Blogger DebD said...

Happy anniversary! Many years. I saw your contribution today. It was quite well done.

 
At 7:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary; God grant you many, many years!

And a wonderful and challenging post: thank you.

 
At 8:33 PM , Blogger Don Mills Diva said...

Happy anniversary to you and Mr. Mimi!

 
At 11:57 PM , Blogger Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

Happy anniversary !
God grant you both Many Years !!!

 
At 5:35 AM , Blogger ukok said...

Happy Anniversary Mimi!

 
At 9:35 AM , Blogger Michelle M. said...

Happy Anniversary!!

Great job on the essay.

 
At 6:20 PM , Blogger Rosemary said...

Wow. Great message. yeah, I must work on this too. Happy Anniversary!

 
At 12:48 AM , Anonymous steph said...

I hope you had much blessed osculating (of the erotic variety) on your anniversary and plenty thereafter. :-)

 
At 11:43 AM , Blogger Pres. Kathy said...

Happy Anniversary~ May God bless you with many more years together. Thank you for posting and sharing your essay - I enjoyed it!

 
At 12:25 PM , Blogger Mimi said...

Thank you for your anniversary congratulations. We had a nice dinner and coffee out, without kids.

And, I hope I am not oversharing by saying that yes, there was osculation.

Also, thank you for the compliments on my essay. I have learned a lot by following the Forty Maxim blog, and I appreciate those who take the time to write about their maxim.

 
At 12:53 PM , Blogger BAK said...

I really liked your essay. It is something that is so hard to avoid doing, because I think it is our human nature to justify ourselves. But I think we win in the end when we don't justify ourselves; it keeps us from situations that cause contention.

Great advice!

 
At 5:46 PM , Blogger Barb Szyszkiewicz said...

Coming late to the party--wishing you many anniversary blessings and many more happy, healthy years!

 
At 7:44 PM , Blogger Athanasia said...

Well done

and

happy anniversary...many years!

 
At 3:01 PM , Blogger Matushka said...

Many years to you and your husband Mimi!!

M.Michelle

 
At 11:54 AM , Blogger margaret said...

Mnohaja lita! Mnohaja lita! Mnohaja lita! Luckily for you I can't actually sing in a comments box ;)

 
At 6:14 PM , Blogger Karen K said...

Thanks for teaching me a new word, Mimi, ha.

And excellent point you bring up-- we're not going to be compared with our neighbor, but with God Himself. I think anyone who thinks, "Oh, I'm alright, I'll go to heaven" is precisely the person who's NOT all right. As long as we're worried about that, we're on the right track...

 
At 7:03 PM , Blogger katbat said...

thanks for the comment! you always say the nicest things- happy anniversary! many years!

 
At 6:23 PM , Blogger Belladonna said...

Ever since you first wrote this I've been thinking about it and trying to pay more attention to my responses. I recently opened up some financial statments and about freaked out to see how much of our retirement savings have melted into smoke. My initial response was to panic, to fear, to get all desperate. But then I remembered these words. They calmed me more than you will ever know.

Yes, this recession has brought some reverses. But GOD knows our needs. We will adjust. We will trust. We'll work longer, we'll travel less. Still, we can focus on the ABUNDANCE of the mercy of the atonement and all that is provided for us in so many ways and stop JUSTIFYING ourselves for why we should have different circumstances after how hard we worked to save...

Maybe not exactly the direction you intended with this piece, but it helped me when I needed it.

Many blessings to you my friend.

(PS Loved the pics of you and your man on your anniversary. Glad you had a fun celebration.)

 
At 7:09 AM , Blogger Suzanne said...

I didn't catch this anniversary note...so sorry I missed it!
Happy Belated Anniversary and blessings for many more years to come!

 
At 8:06 AM , Blogger Rebeca said...

Ouch. I need to hear those words. Many times each day. I often tell this to one of my children... "I don't want to hear about what your sibling did; I asked you what YOU did."
Many joyful years to you and your husband!
And a blessed Holy Week!
Rebeca

 

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