One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”
“It was great, Dad.”
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked
"Oh yeah," said the son!
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to
live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow
theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"
A man named Henk on a Yahoo Group I’m on sent this along. It really struck me as my Xavier spends a lot (I mean most) of his time comparing his station in life – the things he has, his intelligence, his body, his name, his faith, his thoughts and desires – to those around him, and he’s always sure he has the short end of the stick.
As a mom, it’s exhausting to deal with, and I confess, often I’m not very good at it. I did end up yelling last night, after it went on and on. I don’t know what the magical words are that make it better, or how to change his behavior (or mine, frankly).
So, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, giving him hugs and verbal acceptance, and praying hard for him. Would I be able to ask that you send a quick prayer of your own for him? And, any words of advice?
posted by Mimi @ 11/17/2006 01:37:00 PM
10 Comments
10 Comments:
No words of advice. It is a tough age.
You do have my meager prayers.
Mimi...what is his age again? You know I love this story. My son Shane, speaks often of the idea of living out in the country like the place described here. He's always wanted to. He's also comparing things off and on yet, once he gets busy doing something or hanging out with a decent friend, he is so over it. I tell him that it would be wise when he gets older to go ahead and plan to have that place in the country. He also speaks of us adopting another boy around his age. I would if I were younger, I think, but it is because he is the youngest and the only boy. I try to get him around younger kids that he needs to "help" and stuff...like learning how to do the things he is good at, so he learns to share...he is pretty good with them.
Right now, he is volunteering at our children's Science museum here on Fridays and he seems to like giving his time and having a little fun mixed in with it. I am not sure your son's age, but some kids are more into complaining...some aren't...keeping boys busy is the key it seems and consistently reminding them as you say with love and hugs that there are many much worse off than they. They may not seem like they hear you, but they are hearing you and watching you. Sometimes yelling isn't all bad...just remember if it isn't often, it may be that he needed to HEAR the message that time more clearly. You don't strike me as a regular yell-er that he is going to tune out...pick your yelling times ...as they say, like picking your fights and arguments. Since I don't know much about your family...how many siblings does he have and their ages..just wondering. God be with you and sure, I can offer up prayers for someone who is ALWAYS praying with me! :)
Thank you for that story which puts so much into perspective.
I too will pray for your son, and for you as you mother him.
God bless xx
keep on keepin' on Mimi:)
I`ll pray.
Hugs for you, too !
Great Story !
It's got to be tougher for boys to outgrow this particular unhappiness because so much of their life is geared to winning -- to being the toughest and the biggest and the strongest and the most -- and our society makes things a badge of winning to an extreme degree.
I hate to say this, because I know how painful it would have been for me as a kid, but have you considered the possibility of -- well, getting rid of the TV, or dramatically limiting it? You'd have to put up with many months of severe martyrdom, but it would cut the constant flow of images of kids who have more stuff. In the long run (i.e., once he got over the shock), I bet it would help.
I have said a prayer for him and for you and will continue to do so. I too don't remember his age. I think teens are particularly vulnerable to this kind of thinking. In my parenting I have found that most really annoying habits of kids pass with time. Also, it helps me to remember that it is indeed beyond my capability to raise a perfect child.
Thanks for sharing the story...I've heard it before, and it's a great one.
Not sure what to say about your son (as my oldest is only 6), but I'll be sure to pray for you all. Contentment is definitely a matter of the heart, and not something that necessarily passes with time (though living in a small apt or dorm room can help!).
I think some of that is just par for the course, him being a young teen (as I recall?) and self-absorbed as we all are at that age.
I'll say a prayer that God will touch his heart and open his eyes to his blessings and to others around him who aren't as blessed. Heck, we ALL need that prayer, don't we? I know I do!
reality doesnt really exist but only for the one begetting it. You need just to live it in order to know what this all means. Prayers for him though
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