I'm An Inept, Charity case of a Mother - last night and this morning were not banner days in the my parenting life.
We went to Xavier's baseball game last night, and we were running late. Deciding to call Cedric to let him know, the phone was busy. We asked him if he was online, and the answer was "nope". Come to find out (good sleuthing, Eddie!) that he was online while we were gone. We have few rules in the household, but I assure you this is tops on the list.
After I calmed down a bit, I went into his room to talk to him. I'm realizing as we speak that this boy is taller than me. "I'm very disappointed in the fact that you lied" he replied with a raspberry and a "well, if I was honest, you'd have yelled" "Don't raspberry me, and you are in bigger trouble than if you'd been honest" Another one, and again.
Later, he came into my room, a big bundle of bravado - "I think you guys are inept, because you only just now figured out I've been online while you are gone, and I've been doing it for a while now" (can you see the steam coming out of my ears?). I'm so disappointed in him, and so frustrated with my parenting skills. And, also, I can remember feeling exactly the same way as he does - can that be the hardest part of this story? I know that he's thinking in his head Mom overreacts, and so if I just lie, she won't overreact and everything will be easier to deal with. Even though I'd argue the overreacting thing, I can still remember that feeling (sorry, Mom for every time I did that to you).
I don't even know how to begin to discipline him. What is an effective discipline for him? Do I make him go to every Holy Week service this week? Do we make him not come home after school? Do we change the computer settings so he can't log on if we aren't there? Do we bring a part of the computer with us so it won't work? Gah! Where's the handbook when you need one?
And, then, to top it off - Xavier was given an embroidered windbreaker at baseball practice last night. I'd declined when they were ordered, as I felt they were overpriced, unnecessary, and ridiculous. And, so when I called the coach's wife said "Well, there were only two boys that didn't order one, so we ordered one for everyone and paid for it out of the team funds". Grrrr. So, now, I actually owe money for something that I didn't order, and didn't want.
Part of the point of this post is a huge pity party and PVM (Please validate me). But, part of it is a true need for advice. (Thanks, already to Leslie, LeeAnne and Susan for their hugs and advice). So, please let me know what I should do!
5 Comments:
Testing, there seems to be a comment issue today.
Hi Mimi,
Thanks for visiting my blog and posting a comment! That was cool!
Neat to see you scrapbook. I do too. The Ladies Guild at our church is making one for our priest who is moving the end of May.
Per your son - first of all I highly doubt you are a charity case of a mother. :-) Second, he sounds like my daughter when she was that age. Since you asked for advice, here it goes...sounds like he needs what we call a "come to Jesus" chat. ;-) Or in other words, a serious sit down, a punishment that fits the crime, and one that will be held consistently for a time. I like your idea of no computer time. I'd stretch it to be, no computer time AT ALL - not even for homework researach - for a period of 3-5 days. I would change the configs on the computer to password it so he can't get into any user windows and would probably take the power cord with me when I went out. Or better yet, where ever you go, he goes to! THAT will probably kill him! LOL! Personally, I don't like the idea of using going to church as a punishment.
Just my cheap 0.02, that's worth oh...maybe...hmm...nothing! Hang in there and thanks again for visiting the blog. I'll be back often to read yours.
Thanks, Philippa (by the way, I adore that name!) -
I really don't think that church should be a punishment either. Although, since Eddie and I both had to be places last night - he was given a choice of Holy Wednesday with me or of Cub Scouts with Eddie, and he chose church with me.
I pray that those readings got into his subconsciousness and he learned something from it. The Reader (and his Godfather) did tell him a funny joke, so he did at least take something from it! He's not partipating in the Church life at this time, so he was unable to be anointed.
Thanks for visiting my blog and for the prayers and words of wisdom!
I hope you get this comment, it's a little late.
I liked Philippa's idea of not giving him any time on the computer, and changing the configs. To be very honest, if either of my kids had blown me a raspberry, I'd probably have smacked them across the mouth -- in fact, I did once, when my dear daughter told me to go f--- myself. She tried to jump out of the car, I told her not to be any stupider than she already was... How's *that* for inept motherhood? Oh yes, we all have less than finer moments as moms.
About the jacket -- Oh, no, I don't see that you owe them any money *at all.* If they were so dimwitted as to pay for the jackets out of team funds, and you didn't want your kid to have one for reasons that are perfectly sound -- hey, that's their problem, not yours. I hope you haven't paid for it already. That would be letting them bully you, and there's enough of that in school sports as it is.
Help me off my soap box....
Thanks Meg! The raspberry did involve a swat to the head.
Thanks also about the jacket. I'm still a bit ticked over that too.
Ced is home now, but the computer isn't working at home (funny how that works, eh?)
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home