And the text of my "A Good Peace"

A Good Peace

Suddenly, I found myself in a place where I didn’t know what to do. The world as I knew it was slipping and pitching and I couldn't find my footing.

The television was blaring, the radio was filling my head with static - we were on a march to war. How? Why? The questions weren’t being answered, and yet the drumbeats were beating faster and faster and louder and louder.

I didn’t know what to do - I only knew that I had to do what I could. I argued against the war, I prayed, and we attended rallies. My sign said simply “NO War in my name” I was horrified that somewhere people were looking at the news and thinking that I agreed with this plan. I had to stand up and shout that I did not, I could not.

We had also just entered the holy season of Lent - and my head began to spin - standing in church during the dark, silent and beautiful Presanctifed Liturgy a Psalm verse jumped out at me “All too long have I dwelt with those who hate peace. I am for peace but when I speak they are for war” (120:6-7) from the Psalms of Ascent. I had always loved that verse, but I never imagined I’d be living that verse.

And, then, somewhere I must have read Dylan Thomas’ words “Do not go gentle into that good night, rage, rage against the dying of the light” Suddenly a poem I knew to be about raging against death was reworking itself into raging against the inevitably of war. In my waking thoughts and in my dreams those two verses rattled around in my brain
I am for Peace but they are for war” and “Rage, rage against the dying of the light” Suddenly, I had a voice - I didn’t have answers and I didn’t have peace, but I had a voice - there were others who felt as I had felt in this generation, and in every generation.


Now, I look back upon those dark March days with a year of experience. And, like all times of stress, it seems dreamlike. But, I still don’t  know the answers, and I still don’t have peace. The war has not gone as the United States planned, there have been horrific killings, abuse of prisoners, and thousands of senseless deaths.

I still draw comfort from prayers, from Psalm 120, and from Dylan Thomas. And, from the support and friendship of my online and real life friends who comfort me, who tell me I’m not insane that the world is. And, of course, I have Eddie who shares my views, loves me, promises me it will end soon, and promises me that our promise to our children will not be broken.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Rage, rage against the dying of peace.